Skipping the Conversations

“Bill, I don’t know what to do. Every time my son needs correction, I try to sit him down, talk to him about his heart, read to him from the Scriptures and instruct him, ask him heart questions, then discipline him, pray with him, and assure him of my love. But every time I do, he just won’t listen and he fights against me and sometimes just leaves in the middle of it. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong!”

“Remind me again how old you little guy is.”

“He’s two.”

“Ah, yes, I know what the problem is: he’s two. All that talking and instructing and asking questions–he’s just too young. A time will come for that, but you’re just not there yet!”

I remember having this conversation with my friend several years ago. I was a few years ahead in parenting and freely felt I could tell him that while those steps are great, his son was simply not old enough and developed enough. I felt then (and still do) that there’s really not much conversation that needs to happen in those younger ages. You just don’t reason with a toddler. I mean, seriously. It’s painful to try. They certainly need instruction, correction, and assurance of love, but there’s not usually much more to it until they grow older.

The problem is that I had this conversation six years ago. And I said it knowing that “there would come a time” when conversations would increase and discipline would involve more dialogue than it ever had in the past. But now I have an eleven-year-old and somewhere along the way I missed my exit, still cruising on “How to Raise a Toddler” highway.

Which means that a whole lot of my parenting is a whole lot of my talking and my kids doing a whole lot of not talking.

Honestly, I’ve not transitioned well. And I really like that my kids are hitting that tween phase. But the reality is that I’ve transitioned poorly to having intellectually and emotionally capable kids who want to talk and process, and I don’t afford them the opportunity.

So, what does that mean? It’s funny, because it’s still in many ways new territory for me. Like Hermione Granger, when at loss I turn to books! I’m slated to read Age of Opportunity by Paul David Tripp soon and hope to follow that up with Everyday Talk by Jay Younts. And in these opportunities for talking and discussing, I know there are a few goals I want to accomplish:

  1. Hear from my kids and help them learn to talk through their sins, temptations, and troubles. This is something I’m particularly poor at even as an adult, so I want to train my kids how to speak openly and plainly about the deep matters of their hearts.
  2. Help them go to the Scriptures and understand how they apply to them. I’m certainly capable of doing this for them, but they’re at the age where I need to start handing them the reins. I want them to start making the link between their attitudes and behaviors to God’s Word, because I can’t meditate on the Word for them.
  3. Teach them how to process their sin against God and against others, and the appropriate responses for those sins. While this would certainly include seeking forgiveness from the one sinned against, what I’m particularly thinking about here is determining if any restitution needs to be made. I always find this tricky, because I don’t want the kids thinking they can atone for their sins (they can’t). Rather I want them to see that all sin has temporal consequences in addition to eternal ones–and they have a responsibility for those temporal consequences, whether that’s replacing something or offering a service or whatever. But I want to lead the kids into figuring this out instead of simply telling them.
  4. Begin the process (slowly!) of treating my kids like the adults they will be. Even though they’re not adults yet and still have years to go, there will come a day when they are neither under my watch nor under my authority. I want my children to see that my authority has always been derivative. Self-discipline and self-assessment will be the tools to remind them to follow the authorities that will come after me, and much more the authority of the triune God himself. This is really just a fancy way of saying I want them to learn obedience apart from my presence–because God is ever-present.

What about you readers out there? Those of you with tweens and older, how have you found ways to connect with your kids? What have you done to train them for the day they won’t be under your roof anymore? Do you have any resources you’d recommend?

Tis’ the Season

I used to hate winter. I hated the cold temperatures that made me feel like a prisoner in my own home and the gray and brown colors that seem to dominate everything. In the past couple of years, I’ve realized my feelings about the season have changed:

The low temperatures remind me of how cold and dead my heart is without Jesus, and somehow it brings me comfort when I feel the bite of a winter wind. I know that only love can thaw a frozen heart. Not the love of a sister, but of a Savior.

The neutral colors make me remember that I can’t keep God in a box. He created all colors, not just the vibrant ones, and he’s far more complex and beautiful than every one of them. The contrast of gray sky pops out the dark landscape, helping me see minute details I don’t notice otherwise. And I see that beauty often comes from darkness.

The bare trees show me inner beauty and how apart from it, outer beauty is pointless. I could look at branches and knots on wood for days. Few things are more intricate. But I want the leaves. They cover the flaws. I want people to praise the leaves I put on myself in the form of hair, makeup, and clothes, praying they don’t see all the yucky parts. I forget that the yucky parts, the ones that have withheld through the elements, the chips and strikes, the twists and bumps, the weaknesses, are the parts God uses to blossom me into looking more like him, becoming more seasoned and gorgeous from the inside out.

The quiet. The blessed, craved quiet of winter. When animals are sleeping, when neighbors are inside, when crickets stop chirping, and when the air itself seems to be sleeping. These moments are the times I most see the beauty in simply resting in Christ because he did all the work for me.

Winter helps me see that I’m incredible flawed. I’m the worst wife, mother, friend, and servant of all of mankind, completely dreary and dead on my own. Yet when God looks at me, he sees his Son, the most beautiful spring. I’m dormant, waiting for the life that’s mine, a life I did nothing to earn.

And I’ll sit here and marinate in the beauty of winter while I wait.

“Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.”

‭‭1 Timothy‬ ‭1:15-16‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Harry Potter Birthday Party

Our kids get a friend themed birthday party when they turn 5 and 10. This was Ariana’s year as she turned the big 1-0. She has recently finished the Harry Potter books, so this was the theme she went with. Which made this mom and dad swell up with pride. *sniff*

14 awesome girls were part of this special day, and I’m never sure if I have more fun or if they do. Here are the party details, and as usual, many things aren’t pictured because we’re terrible at taking pictures during events like this!

Decorations:20161105_130242000_ios20161105_130310000_ios20161105_130424000_ios20161105_130518000_ios20161105_130604000_ios20161105_130630000_ios20161105_130656000_ios20161105_130739000_ios20161105_130908000_ios

Pictures of our guests. Four came late, and I completely forgot to get this shot of them, but oh, these faces were epic!20161105_190015033_ios20161105_190037483_ios20161105_190127019_ios20161105_190154754_ios20161105_190226877_ios20161105_190305172_ios20161105_190341631_ios20161105_190409452_ios20161105_190440741_ios20161105_190519369_ios

Food in the Great Hall. We almost forgot to get photos of this, but there was still some left by the time we remembered.20161105_192302974_ios20161105_192313507_ios20161105_192321624_ios20161105_192330274_ios20161105_192334623_ios20161105_192339340_ios20161105_192354791_ios

Before the “students” began school, they took a trip to Diagon Alley to get supplies, beginning with Gringotts to withdraw some Galleons.20161105_192404159_ios20161105_192412198_iosThe wand chooses the witch! We made these with dowel rods, hot glue, beads, and spray paint. We were super pleased with the results!20161105_192427443_ios

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Our sweet little witch running Honeydukes!20161105_194237332_ios20161105_194649122_ios

Of course you can’t start classes until you’re sorted into houses20161105_193732317_ios

The activities were in the form of classes. Mainly real Hogwarts classes mixed with a few grammar level ones for the sake of having enough.
Care of Magical Creatures where they designed dragons20161105_210536423_ios20161105_210527144_iosHistory of Magic where they studied Harry’s scar by trying to pin it in the right place20161105_130539000_iosHerbology where they painted planter pots20161105_200032254_iosQuidditch! Bill made these hoops and they were fantastic!!! We had the girls bounce a ping pong ball on the table, trying to get them through the hoop.20161105_203256570_iosFlying Lessons where we did several broom relays. Many of our awesome neighbors let us borrow their brooms for this!20161105_215602382_ios20161105_215723008_iosGrammar, complete with Mad Lib20161106_141220649_iosGeography as a Horcrux scavenger hunt. I printed the clues on the back. Bill made these maps, too! This man is creative, ya’ll!!!20161111_211358098_ios20161111_211408844_iosPotions where we mixed baking soda, dish soap, food coloring, and vinegar. The girls had more fun with this than anything else! They could have stayed with this activity for an hour, I’m sure. I got these adorable little cauldrons on Amazon, and they made cute party favors.20161111_211825993_iosOther activities we forgot to photograph:

  • Dueling in the form of freeze tag
  • Charms using Wingardium Leviosa to keep balloons in the air with their wands
  • Defense Against the Dark Arts where the girls fought a dementor (black tablecloth pinned to the wall) with wands (shooting q-tips from straws)
  • Vocabulary as Harry Potter Bingo

The birthday girl’s ice cream cake20161105_212642215_ios

Sillie selfies!!20161105_192255399_ios

Kids and Sleep

20160724_160613000_iosOur sweet friend, Leia, who we made a makeshift bed for during our gathering one Sunday.

When I first had Liam, my mentor gave me the best advice on practical parenting I’d had before or since–make sleep the biggest priority for your kids.

Thank you, thank you, oh Yoda. Your words have served our family well.
(Her name isn’t actually Yoda…)

Her philosophy was that most behavior problems in children come from a lack of sleep. I’m far too lazy to look up any research to back her up, but trust me, beyond a shadow of a doubt, she was right. OK, OK, theologically their behavior problems come from sinful heart issues. But we’re body and soul together, where our flesh affects our hearts and our hearts affect our flesh. It goes both ways.

For instance, there are many times my physical body is broken down, maybe from hunger or fatigue, and sometimes the gift God gives you to fight temptations that invariably increase during those times is to simply eat something or take a nap. Same for our little ones, even though they can’t quite evaluate this for themselves. Sleep is an important tool to help our kids, even the littles, fight the temptations that come from living in our sinful flesh.

Now, before I tell you how the Bells have handled sleep so far, remember that kids aren’t robots. None of our children fit into a perfect box here. I know you’ll hate this, but you just have to use the instincts God gave you according to each child’s needs.

Also, as I’m preparing to write this, I’m thinking, “Oh crap! I don’t actually remember what we did with babies!” I’ve done the baby and sleep thing six times, and my youngest is only four, but yeah–you really do forget. This should let you know how helpful this article will be. Please excuse me while I refresh my memory a bit…

And I’m back! I’m sure you noticed my absence.

(The recommended hours of sleep are in parentheses beside each age, according to WebMD)

Newborns-4 Weeks (15-16 hours): During these first weeks, we do a mix of feeling out baby’s rhythms and helping them adjust to ours. We typically do a feed-keep awake for a short time to play-sleep routine. If baby wakes up before three hours, I feed them and start the cycle over again. If they try to sleep longer at this age, I wake them up at the three-hour mark from start of the previous feeding. We do the same through the night, too. Our experience has been that baby stretches closer to the three-hour mark if we really try for the play time right after the feeding. I have no idea why (WebMD should totally hire me to write for them with all my research), but baby just seems to sleep better when they’ve played a bit before naptime.

1-4 Months (14-15 hours): There’s a slow transition that begins here to let baby begin sleeping through the night. We gradually allow baby to have longer stretches during the night until their body adjusts to full nighttime sleeping. For our six kids whom we raised from birth, 10-12 hour stretches happened between weeks 9 and 11. That’s not right or better or anything–it’s just what our kids did. If your kids don’t, they’re still awesome and so are you. We still wake them up in the daytime if need be, we just switch to more of a four-hour instead of three-hour cycle.

4-9 Months (14-15 hours): At this point, our kids were on a schedule of three naps during the day, usually sleeping between 1-2 hours at a time and 10-12 hours at night. We still kept the same eat-play-sleep cycle with them. Dropping the third nap is different for each child. Two of my kids have always LOVED their sleep. Honestly, my ten-year-old could still nap every day if I wanted her to. They tended to hold on to that third nap longer than the others. If over time they simply don’t sleep, stop acting tired before the evening nap, or stop sleeping well through the night, it’s often an indication they need fewer naps. Dropping the evening nap can also means a bit of an earlier bed time for a transition period.

6-12 Months (14-15 hours): Our children still take two naps during this phase, and often we let this phase go longer than the 12 month recommendation, sometimes as late as 18 months. Again, it depends on the child’s needs. Twelve-hour nights of sleep are usually the sweet spot for Bell kids at this point.

1-3 Years (12-14 hours): Like I said, we often keep two naps past the one year mark, but most kids can switch to one nap a day not long after their first birthday.Our kids still sleep around twelve continuous hours during the night.

3-6 Years (10-12 hours): This is the point we usually start to look a bit different from other families. It seems like most families are anxious for their children to drop their afternoon nap so they can have more freedom to run errands, explore, whatever in the day. We typically don’t drop it until they’ve made it through this phase. Threenagers’ little bodies are changing so much, and it’s rough to make it 12 hours with no rest. Now, a couple of my kids did stop napping consistently when they were three, but I haven’t had one who was ready to drop completely at this age. This is where “rest time” becomes more the norm. They would read books in bed for an hour or two. A few days a week, they fall asleep, and a few days a week they don’t. Currently, one of my four-year-olds could take a four-hour nap each day if we’d let him (we don’t!), our other four-year-old sleeps 5-6 days a week, and our five-year-old sleeps 2-4 days a week.

7-12 Years (10-11 hours): We gradually let our children stay up a bit longer during this phase, pushing bedtime back by 30 minutes as the child grows. Our 11-year-old goes to bed around 9 and wakes up on his own between 7 and 7:30. He did recently get a late Friday night bedtime of 10:00, and he’ll usually sleep a bit later on Saturdays. This basically means he stays up later than me most Fridays. Dang, I’m a party animal…

12-18 Years (8-9 hours): No words here. I haven’t raised a cub in this age range yet. I just thought it was fun to include it like I have a clue what I’m doing.

One last thought here. I don’t believe in a child-centered home. Nor do I believe in a parent-centered home. I believe in a Jesus-centered home, which entails giving up your own desires as your Big Brother did. I mentioned this briefly above, but the biggest reason it seems parents push their kids out of the sleep they need (I do it, too!) is because we’re just weary of revolving our schedules around our kids. We’re ready for an easier season where we can add in activities we’ve missed or look forward to. Or we want more freedom to do things on our time for our convenience. Sometimes, the right thing is to blow off a nap or drop naps for necessity. But I think more often we need to remember that rest is a precious gift from God. It’s good for our kids, and it’s good for us. Sit and be still, knowing this season is from him and for him. Use their rest time to be content in this season. And if you do this well, let me know in the comments. I would love to learn from you.

Kidisms

Kindling the Fire
Victoria: I didn’t know daddy had that tablet.
Me: Oh, his Kindle?
Victoria: Yeah, his candle tablet!

Somebody call the cops!
Esther (watching me type up e-vites): Are you using those for investigations?
Bill: Do you mean invitations?

Literally literal
Bill (asking her what topic she’d written about): What did you write it on?
Esther: I wrote it on notebook paper

We call it “The South”
Ariana: Isn’t there another country that calls lunch dinner

It was out of his hands
Liam gave Josiah gum and told him not to swallow it. Five minutes later Josiah said: I’m sorry, Wiam. It slid down to my tummy.

The blood of Jesus doesn’t remove everything…
Victoria: Why is Miriam still crazy even though she’s been baptized!?

Them bones
Victoria: Why do we have bones?
Court: So we can stand and walk.
Josiah: Can babies walk?
Court: Not usually.
Josiah: Oh. So babies don’t have bones.

And the humblest
Josiah: Is Daddy cute?
Court: He’s the cutest!
Josiah: He’s not the cutest! I’m the cutest!

Come home already!
Josiah: How many minuses is Daddy’s work? [How many minutes till Daddy’s home?]

Prepping for Tomorrow

Many of you know I’m decent with time management. This embarrasses me. I’m not kidding. Cause I think it makes me like a Trekkie before being a Trekkie was cool. It’s cute in it’s own way, but really there are just a few of us out there who make up conventions just to know we aren’t alone. Without costumes and character makeup. Usually.

But the dude who’s even crazier than me and chose to be my husband often reminds me this is the area friends seek me out for the most. Ya know, cause I have the spiritual gift of organization that’s listed in Hezekiah 481,516:2,342. And he claims I should be less timid to share my processes. So welcome to the convention. Make sure you tweet about all the crazy you observe while here so others can be entertained, too.

So I’m going to start this series that isn’t going to be a series with my number one tip to help you manage your busy a bit better: Take a few minutes to prep for your next day.

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OK, I’m going to go ahead and take a Zack Morris Time-Out before going further. The reason I hesitate to talk much about time management is because I almost always see this giving fellow parents a feeling of defeat, like there’s something sacred about being organized and they’ll never measure up. Every flippin’ magazine has a focus on it, especially in January. It dominates Pinterest almost as much as recipes. And the organized mom is the one who seemingly has it all together and is far superior.

The same God who is a God of order (referencing order in the church BTW, not your labeled pantry) is also the God of seeming chaos in changing plans, bringing insanity through unpredictable natural disasters, and creating a new, never before seen sunset each night. And we all reflect him. Meaning if you are the most spontaneous, all-over-the-place personality of everyone you know, you still bear his image. You’re not a worse mom. You’re the way God made you. And it’s beautiful and right for your kids.

God made me to reflect more of his ordered side. And some day I should write a blog post about the sinful tendencies that brings about in my own heart and how I envy those of you who can fly by the seat of your pants. But for now, know I’m just writing here. Take it or leave it, but don’t condemn yourself by feeling the pressure to add one more thing to the rules you make up for yourself. If this post serves you, great! If not, toss it and rest in the freedom of the person God made you to be.

OK, Time In!

Each evening, I do the following to get ready for the following day.

  • Check the calendar to see what’s going on and prep for any events on there (pack lunch for an outing, get dance bag ready, make sure I know address of location for GPS, etc.)–my older kids help with this prep work, cause we’re a family, not a one-woman show
  • Check the forecast to see how the kids and I should dress
  • Lay out my outfit–the kids do this with their clothes, too
  • Look at the menu and prep what I can. This could be pulling meat out of the freezer to thaw or marinate, measuring out some ingredients into prep bowls, making muffins for the morning, or assembling a casserole.
  • Check or make a to-do list and plan how and when I’m going to get it done
  • Reply to or write emails, texts, private messages, or voxes
  • Sometimes, I take this time for social media, mainly to check notifications and see if there’s something to which I should respond.

All of this usually takes me no more than 15 minutes. Obviously, food prep can take a bit longer depending on what’s planned, but I try to keep meals pretty simple throughout the week when we’re busier.

Depending on your lifestyle, there are many other things you may add to your list (getting school supplies ready comes to mind!), but this is my process, and it’s served me for a long time with just a few simple tweaks.

If you’re just getting started with this, I’d recommend you only add one thing at a time, maybe just getting in the habit of checking your calendar. That simple habit can make a big difference.

Happy prepping! That sounds like something I’d say to someone the day before a colonoscopy. Says the woman with Crohn’s disease. And this is how my post ends. Ends, hee hee, see what I did there?

Our Discipline Chart

There’s this funny thing that happens when friends come to our house for the first time. Often they take out their phones to snap a picture of a piece of paper I have posted in various places throughout the house. That paper is our discipline chart.

There’s nothing magical or pretty about it. When our two newest were placed with us, we wanted a visual for us and our kids to help everyone know discipline that would be given when needed. It was also helpful to show this to their case worker to make sure she approved of our methods.

DisciplineThe first two levels on our chart are far less about consequences than about helping the child regain focus. Oftentimes when a kid is acting out, they simply need to sit somewhere quietly to take a break, or oppositely, they need to burn some excess energy. So we tend to start here, especially in cases of self-control. Many times, that’s all that’s needed to get him back on track.

Journaling is listed on most of them, though that makes me smirk because we’ve actually required our kids to do it maybe twice. Don’t be jealous of our consistency. We do like the concept, though, so we keep it on the sheet in hopes that someday-maybe we’ll be good parents. The idea is to have them copy a passage of scripture and answer simple questions to be grounded in truth about the heart issue they’re struggling with.

As far as the other levels:

  • Loss of privilege is simply what it sounds like–not being able to do something you would normally have done. This could be watching a movie with the family, going to a special event, etc, for a short period of time.
  • If our kids have finished all their work for the day, they get 30 minutes of screen time. Which can also be taken away.
  • After dinner, kids who have eaten well get a small treat. Regardless of eating habits, though, we’ll snatch that cookie right out of your mouth if needed.
  • On top of daily chores, our kids can opt to do a paid chore, usually involving cleaning or yard work. If they reach this level, we’ll give them extra unpaid chores: same chores but without the moolah.
  • We try to give our children friend time at least once a week. That can go, too.
  • They can lose a toy, one they love, for a longer stretch of time or, in extreme circumstances, permanently.
  • Community service is hours determined by us to do work around the house/neighborhood. Seems fun at first, then the hatin’ it happens.

We certainly don’t use this list as a dogmatic form for parenting but more as a bucket list of ideas to use alongside belittling and yelling at them gospel instruction. Sometimes we skip straight to a lower level, sometimes we combine a few. Most things in life are gray, and what helps motivate a child once may not work again.

The Spirit is the one who changes hearts, not you and not me. Our ultimate goal with discipline should never be to “force a child to behave how you want them to.” Rather it should be a tool to teach them the folly of sin and point them to the only one who never disobeyed. And if you’re good at that, you can guest blog for us, cause we most certainly aren’t.

Read-Aloud Review: A Long Walk to Water

41owpj9m5ul-_sy346_A Long Walk to Water by Linda Sue Park

From Amazon: The New York Times bestseller A Long Walk to Water begins as two stories, told in alternating sections, about two eleven-year-olds in Sudan, a girl in 2008 and a boy in 1985. The girl, Nya, is fetching water from a pond that is two hours’ walk from her home: she makes two trips to the pond every day. The boy, Salva, becomes one of the “lost boys” of Sudan, refugees who cover the African continent on foot as they search for their families and for a safe place to stay. Enduring every hardship from loneliness to attack by armed rebels to contact with killer lions and crocodiles, Salva is a survivor…

Our oldest daughter, Ariana, got this book quite a long time ago from the Indy Children’s Museum, after which she tore through it and asked us to read it, too. After putting it off for way too long, we recently read this together as a family. The book is 133 pages and we read it in three days.

Yep. Three days.

I was surprised by how compelling the story was, even though it was somewhat fictionalized by Park. But I know enough to know that it was true to Salva Dut’s story and many of the other Lost Boys of Sudan. And so I was glad to read it as a family and get totally wrapped up in the story. They loved it so much that every time I’d finish a chapter, one or more of the kids (and sometimes Courtney, too!) would ask me to read another chapter. And then another. And then another.

The main reason I wanted to read this story was to give my kids a glimpse of what life is like in places where the resources are shy of our very rich country. It certainly did that. But it was far more. Because it was about loss, suffering, perseverance, compassion, and the fragility of life.

And, as the mark of any book I love, I balled like fourteen times in reading it to the kids.

What I Really Liked: I enjoyed giving the kids a vivid picture of life in a very different culture and setting. I also liked that the book didn’t shy away from the horrors Salva faced in many years, though it wasn’t grotesque about it either. I appreciated how the book got to see examples of both noble and ignoble characters, and even weaknesses and frailty in the protagonist. It was a very human story, where the perils of war and hunger are the crucible through which temptations are faced, sometimes well and sometimes not. And I was grateful that the book led into many other conversations, especially as we learned more about Sudan through different resources (more on that below).

What I Didn’t Like: Of course, it’s not a Christian book and I didn’t expect it to be, but the main character wonders many times how he could be so “lucky” and I kept reminding the kids that it wasn’t luck, but God’s kindness. And as I mentioned above, the author admits that some parts of the story were fictionalized, which was a little confusing when I had to explain that most of the book was real, but not necessarily all of it.

The Bottom Line: This is a great book that not only displays depth of character and perseverance through adversity, but also gives an honest and important glimpse into the plight of much of the globe. It’s a great story. Good for all ages, though our tender-hearted five-year-old struggled with the sad parts.

Discussion:

  • How is life in Sudan like yours? How is it different?
  • How do you think you would have responded if you were in Salva’s place?
  • Can you imagine being excited to get to go to school? Can you imagine what life would be like where you need to work all day just to survive?
  • What did you think about the Uncle’s words to just focus on the next goal? Why did he tell Salva that? Does that sound anything like “Don’t worry about tomorrow”?
  • When they were traveling through the desert and saw the group lying there, how did the people in Salva’s group respond? Why did some not want to help? Why did others help them? Does Jesus call us to give only after we make sure we have enough or do we give even if it might endanger us?
  • What are the many ways that God the Father protected Salva through his life?
  • Do you ever feel like Salva? Do you ever feel like things are too hard to keep going? What do you do when that happens?
  • How did Uncle Jewiir remind you of Jesus?
  • Is Jesus with you, even if you have to face terrible circumstances like Salva? How does this story remind you to give thanks to God for what you have? How is Jesus the only hope for Sudan?

Additional Resources

Adoption Series Roll-Up

Now that we’ve spent seven months (WHAT!?!?) opening up our hearts and convictions regarding adoption, we’re ready to get back to what this blog is all about: raising our kids in Jesus. That, of course, includes adoption, but that’s clearly not the totality of it nor is that all we care about discussing on this blog.

So since we’re done posting on adoption for the time being, we wanted to provide a roll-up of the posts we wrote on the topic to sort of wrap everything up. Our hope in this series has been to be incredibly open of the many struggles we’ve faced in our own adoption story without cleaning it up or trying to make it look pretty when it’s painful. And more, we want all of us to see our story of adoption and the resources available to adoptive parents inside God’s grand gospel story of a crucified and risen king.

Here are all the posts in our adoption series:

  1. Getting Real About Adoption
  2. Loving the Unlovable
  3. Sin in the Adopted Child
  4. Support for the Adoptive Parent
  5. Broken-Hearted Parents
  6. Some Clarifying Thoughts on Our Adoption
  7. Examining Adoption Resources (reviewing The Connected Child, Pt 1)
  8. Normal and Healthy? (reviewing The Connected Child, Pt 2)
  9. A Matter of Foundations (reviewing The Connected Child, Pt 3)
  10. The Sins of Neurology  (reviewing The Connected Child, Pt 4)
  11. Idol Swapping  (reviewing The Connected Child, Pt 5)
  12. Setting the Course  (reviewing The Connected Child, Pt 6)
  13. Another Way Forward (reviewing The Connected Child, Pt 7)
  14. The Therapy Our Children Need
  15. Who Are You Calling Normal?
  16. Optional Adoption
  17. How to Adopt for Almost Free (And No Fundraising!)
  18. What About “Those” Kids?
  19. Trying to Make Them Lovable