The Meh of Me Time

I have a hard time with with the idea of “me time.” And I  can’t tell you how many times people tell me that, as a mom of ten, I “need” some time to myself. I know it’s easy to get caught up in nuances: “What you call something isn’t important. It’s the heart behind it.” Absolutely! But I find more often than not what we call something reveals how we really view it in our hearts, whether we know it or not.

Me-time is just that: it’s all about me. Every week Bill sends me out for time by myself, and I do the same for him. I pray, I blog, I take a walk, I breathe in the beauty of creation. And I tell myself it’s selfless. That if I’m overspent, I won’t be able to serve my husband and kids well. Trust me, my me-time is totally righteous…

Truly, I believe I deserve this time, and if I don’t get it, it becomes my justification for every sin under the sun. “I’m not lazy today, I’m just tired because I didn’t get my time out.” “I shouldn’t have yelled at the kids. Obviously, I’m overwhelmed by them since I didn’t get out last week.” “My mind is busy. I’d be able to focus more on Jesus if I got some time away.” I want rest, a Sabbath-rest that will refresh soul and body.

But the Sabbath God gave us, the rest Jesus sought (and found!), was rest in the Lord. Sometimes Jesus got that with “time away.” Sometimes he got it through compassionately caring for the people along the water’s edge that God providentially put there. Sometimes he got it by sleeping through a terrible storm.

When things didn’t work out the way he may have planned, he still never sinned. His rest came not from physical renewal but heart renewal, and that’s the renewal I can’t seem to wrap my head around. I still don’t know how to simply trust my perfect Daddy even though he seems to smash my plans and my personal time.

Of course I know that our souls and bodies are intertwined, and there’s much teaching in scripture about getting rid of physical temptations in order to flee from sin. Physical rest is a gift from God, so if he grants it to you, take it. Make it a priority, even. Physical rest is good and necessary. The only one strong enough to not need this kind of rest is God, and our need for it is to remind us to rejoice in his strength since we have none on our own. If “physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things,” then it seems like we could say that physical rest is of some value, but Spirit-filled rest has value for all things. And that’s because true rest holds “promise for both the present life and the life to come.” Physical rest, me time, getting away–none of those can do that.

When we find our hope in our physical rest or find ourselves miffed that we didn’t get a break, that just means we were seeking me-time, not Jesus-time. And we’ll never truly find rest there.

I think we got some Bible mixed with self-serving–yet-pseudo-spiritual language in our heads. “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, so the Son of Man makes sure he gets his me-time, too.” “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will suggest some renewing time for yourself.”

No! Jesus tells us that if we’re weary and burdened, to find rest in him. More specifically, he says to take his yoke upon you in order to find rest. I find this interesting because the idea of having a yoke upon us is not a picture of sitting cozy on the couch or leisurely walking through the woods. It’s a picture of a strong ox doing insanely difficult labor. So the key to rest according to Jesus is not to rest physically but to rest in him, knowing he’s the one carrying most of the weight. To keep running the race because he did all the work for us already on the cross, and he’s continuing to labor for us as our perfect mediator. To always remember this truth so we can work in him and be rested. To make my work (or my time) about him, not me.

My prayer is for something better, deeper, richer, and more fulfilling than me time. I’m praying for a deeper rest, a rest in Jesus, a heart rest that comes no matter how much physical work is being demanded from my body, how much counsel is being demanded from my lips, or how much I’m “deprived” of my me-time. My prayer is to plumb the depths of the Sabbath-rest that allows us rest for our souls, a rest that has already started and will never ever end.

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2 thoughts on “The Meh of Me Time

  1. How uncomfortable this makes me, because I deeply LOVE me time. I am a huge fan of me time. Time to think, time to read, time to be creative, time to do chores without interruption, time just to experience quiet. But those things can never really refresh. Only time spent with Him can do that. Thanks for the reminder, even if it DOES make me uncomfortable.

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