Kidisms

Theology 101:
Josiah: Did you know Jesus dies on the cross every time he gets sick?

When Ariana and her friends kept talking through a movie:
Me: Don’t make me Avada Kedavra your butts!
Renne (friend): You’re sometimes really hilarious and sometimes really creepy.

Victoria was looking at toys online for Miriam’s birthday. One toy caught her attention:
V: Whoa! That’s creepy!! Kind of makes me want to have it…

Not correlated at all…:
Esther: I’m not actually close to full. It’s just that my belly hurts.

It certainly works in your favor:
Josiah: Mom loves me a lot because I snuggle with her lots of times.

That’s one kind of reputation:
Liam: I have street cruds now.

Instructing Victoria on how to use a British accent well:
Miriam: You just have to say British stuff like “Bonjour.”

Such a humble apology:
Victoria: I’m sorry I’m such a fast runner.

Girls rule:
Esther: Women think snoring is disgusting. That’s why they don’t do it.

Some people just don’t get it:
Miriam: Does anyone know where the 13 Colonies sheet is?
Esther: I don’t know what that is.
Miriam: It’s the 13 Colonies sheet.

Reading stories of Jesus for our Lent tree:
Bill: What does the footstool represent?
Aiden: It’s for standing on to wash our hands!

Letting Josiah try a coffee M&M:
Josiah: Mmmmm!!! Could I try…seven more?

Subtle, Kid. So subtle:
Josiah: Mommy, what’s for lunch? Oh, look! I see a McDonald’s!

Kidisms

Kindling the Fire
Victoria: I didn’t know daddy had that tablet.
Me: Oh, his Kindle?
Victoria: Yeah, his candle tablet!

Somebody call the cops!
Esther (watching me type up e-vites): Are you using those for investigations?
Bill: Do you mean invitations?

Literally literal
Bill (asking her what topic she’d written about): What did you write it on?
Esther: I wrote it on notebook paper

We call it “The South”
Ariana: Isn’t there another country that calls lunch dinner

It was out of his hands
Liam gave Josiah gum and told him not to swallow it. Five minutes later Josiah said: I’m sorry, Wiam. It slid down to my tummy.

The blood of Jesus doesn’t remove everything…
Victoria: Why is Miriam still crazy even though she’s been baptized!?

Them bones
Victoria: Why do we have bones?
Court: So we can stand and walk.
Josiah: Can babies walk?
Court: Not usually.
Josiah: Oh. So babies don’t have bones.

And the humblest
Josiah: Is Daddy cute?
Court: He’s the cutest!
Josiah: He’s not the cutest! I’m the cutest!

Come home already!
Josiah: How many minuses is Daddy’s work? [How many minutes till Daddy’s home?]

Kidisms

Which one is it?
Victoria (asking about praying before we ate): Can we pray in our heads?
Me: Yes.
Victoria: Okay. Can you pray for us then?

So, so tired
Victoria (after sitting in my lap for a while in the morning): I’m tired…
Me: Oh, you’re tired? Do you need to go back to bed then?
Victoria: No, I’m tired of sleeping.

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
Esther: I smell cookies.
Miriam: I don’t smell anything. All I smell is food.

I’m clearly funnier than you realize
Miriam (after saying something she thought was über-funny): Nobody’s laughing. Why?

Some people call them happy meals
Victoria: Why did you get us laughing meals?

Well, clearly I’m wrong here…
Bill: Come upstairs for a bath.
Victoria: But Daddy, I have nothing on me!

That’s an odd reason
Victoria (telling us why her usual dance teacher wasn’t there): My dance teacher was getting dressed. [She was at a dress rehearsal.]

Best joke ever
Miriam: Why do mommies and daddies say amen? Daddies do because they’re a-MEN.

Almost, but not quite
Game Question: What is the name of our galaxy?
Ariana: Oh, I know—the United States of America!

Talk about stinky
Miriam: I opened the outside trash can and it smelled really bad.
Me: Like your butt?
Miriam: No! It was worse!

No hypocrites allowed
Victoria: Josiah and Aiden were talking at the table when you told them not to.
Me: Oh really? Were you doing anything wrong, like maybe tattling on your brothers?
Victoria: Nope!

Trying to explain medical procedures to a four-year-old
Victoria (referring to Liam’s 2010 spinal surgery she’d just learned about): Liam went to the doctor and the doctor gave him a spinal cord!

Kidisms

Talking about her younger sibling:

Miriam: I like Josiah a lot, and I like Victoria a little.

Right after Miriam farted:

Liam: That was Miriam and that was cool!

While decorating for Christmas:

Miriam: Do we have any hooks to hang our stockings with?

Bill: No.

Miriam: Well what do we do? Do we call the police? Or are they only for catching bad guys?

During breakfast:

Liam: Too much syrup is bad for you. You should have powdered sugar instead.

Almost…:

Miriam: Liam is eight which means he’s almost twelve.

Kidisms

After watching Liam play soccer for three weeks:

Esther: Why are they always kicking the ball?

With a full mouth during dinner:

Miriam: I can’t answer you. My mouth is full.

Dinnertime games:

Miriam: I have wings, a circle head, a small body, and small legs. What am I?

Me: (after several wrong guesses) What color are you?

Miriam: Whatever color birds are.

Me: Are you a bird?

Miriam: Yes!

On a breakfast date with Daddy after eating half her food:

Miriam: You’re not going to cook anymore for the rest of the day, right?

Bill: We’ll still have lunch, supper, and maybe a snack.

Miriam: (looking worried) I can’t eat anymore today! My belly’s already way too filled up with food!

Bill picking on me regarding a time I locked the kids in the van (which Liam doesn’t remember):

Bill: What would you think if someone locked their keys in the car?

Liam: That would be kind of dumb.

Bill: What if they locked their kids in their car?

Liam: I’m not allowed to say that word, but it’s spelled s-t-o-o-p-i-d.

Kidisms

*We couldn’t decide which blog these should be on. They reflect fun parenting moments and are sweet memories for our family, so we’ll be double posting these each time.

Ariana and Liam were being competitive one day trying to get their school work done first:

Me: You two don’t need to race.

Ariana: Yes, we do.

Me: Why do you think you have to race?

Ariana: Cause when we mess up, we have to race.

Bill: Do you mean erase?

Ariana: Oh. Yeah.

Big announcement:

Miriam: My favorite colors are black and green, cuz that’s the color of my poop.

That makes sense:

Bill: Should you disobey Mommy?

Ariana: Uh huh.

Bill: What?

Ariana: Uh huh means no.

A child’s observational skills:

After Esther held Josiah in the bathtub so Bill could give him a bath, she observed: “Daddy! Josiah has a tail like you and Liam do!”

We obviously still have much to learn with time concept:

Liam: How long will it take you to drive to Florida?

John: About 18 hours.

Liam: Whoa! That will probably take you 4 days! Maybe even 12 days!